This apple is huge!

In NYC on business. I assure you it's important. Was accosted before we even left the airport. Whoops, gave away the we. Ahaha ... anyway, I'm sure it'll happen again. The accosting, I mean. When people here aren't trying to outright ignore you (blissful), they're all up in your face like, "hey, I'm taking your money."

Too bad I'm keeping a low profile; I'd show them what's up, Horrible-style.

On the way to a fancy hotel. Of course I can't say which one. Just know that it's in NY and gives a fantastic view of the city.

You know what? I'm going to use expensive and ridiculous aromatherapy bath products and have an overly extravagant drink named after an obscure Eastern European nobleman. (Note: if said drink does not exist, I will create it using my natural chemist's intuition.)

Also, though I admit I'm extremely knowledgeable, I always try to learn something new every day. Today was no exception.


It's snowing! How cool is that?

Ah, we're here! Catch you later!

(btw, my old Twitter is no longer functional - great time for it to happen, not - so those who were following me previously can now follow my tweets at http://twitter.com/ahorribledoctor.)


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...

I think there are several things I need to re-evaluate. I'm going to acknowledge all of this as a setback. One enormous, terrible, yet completely surmountable setback.

Highlights!
a) the Hammercycle was totally crushed
b) the entirety of California was under ELE control for 20.44 seconds, which beats out Mister Maniacal's 1986 reign by .92 seconds
c) I am still alive and (relatively, though I don't want to talk about it) uncharred, which puts me ahead of Mister Maniacal on (count them) two vital points
d) the look on Hammer's face when the Hammercycle was totally crushed

I'm sure there are more, but I have a headache atm and should probably lay down. Maybe do some subconscious soul-searching. It's funny in an extremely unfunny way - having a lot to think about when the last thing you want to do is think.

In the meantime, I'm at a motel while my apartment (the living part, not the lab - thank you very much) sustains restoration efforts, making soup, tending wounds, deliberating on a new plan, etc etc, moving on ...



Yours,
Dr. Horrible


P.S. Pretty sure I'm just going to get a new car. I like being subtle.

Today was extremely eventful, but I just realized that I haven't eaten dinner alone for a really long time and I had to write about it before I forgot why it was relevant.

More later.

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Update.

Phase one and two of something I'm working on with a colleague is complete. It's going to be awesome. I keep attributing my own reasoning to it, and that really psychs me up.

If I didn't, you know. Stuff would ... mmh.

BTW, how about those playoffs? I've been hearing about them everywhere and I'm really interested in speculations about who might win the Super Bowl. (Note: This is sarcasm. If you answer with something expressing a genuine interest and/or say something sports-knowledgeable, I'll permanently ban your IP. Just sayin'.)

Introspection, take two.

I had another post ready, but it just didn't fit the whole scheme of the blog. So, I'm going to start over.

There are certain things that bring to light who you are as a person; there are a series of tiny, seemingly insignificant events in a criss-cross pattern through the fabric of the universe that weaves you and determines who you'll be. I'm not a believer in fate. I'm a believer in circumstantial augmentation or detriment; whether the circumstances pull your threads tighter or rip them apart is completely coincidental.

I'll be vague. It's best to be vague.

... Wow, it's really difficult to be vague about something like this. Okay, I can get around it.

First, I've come to the conclusion that nothing is ever purely physical. That's one thing I've learned from my robots. (And kudos to the UCLA professor who diagnosed the culprit behind your slavery. Good luck finding a cure. Not.) Each individual action is controlled by a pulse emanating from the brain. The heart beats involuntarily, the lungs breathe involuntarily, but pretty much everything else? It's a decision.

I don't regret a single decision I've ever made. None of them have ruined me; none of them have made me any less of a supervillain to myself - or, undoubtedly, any of you. Some of them have, however, made me more of one.

And while nothing is ever purely physical, I doubt this decision will be different. However, resorting to the cliché comparison to Newton's third law, I expect to balance myself out.

Confused?

Cool. It was totally intentional. Just note that some plans aren't as well-laid, but they can be incredibly destructive. Like an earthquake. So if I were you (which I'm so glad I'm not), I'd watch out. That's all. Oh wait, you already do. Well, you're not very good at it.


Truly,
Dr. Horrible

P.S. I rode the awesomest electric bike last night, and I crashed so hard, but it was so worth it. I think I need to invest in an alternate form of transportation. No offense to Moist, but ... the 1980 Civic? While reliable, I think I'm growing out of it. Like, retroactively. By several years.

Maybe I'll put in a request.

Revenge is ... kind of spicy, actually

Hey, universe.

Suck it.


Love always,
Dr. Horrible

This just in!

I hate the universe.

The covert operation that I'd been assigned on Bad Horse's order was no doubt an immense success; however, as with many other operations in my history as a villain, not everything went according to plan. Not enough to screw up the intended goal, which was, as previously mentioned, achieved - but enough to make things suck.

On the plus side, I looked amazing.

On the negative side, I'm completely out of heist money. Here's lookin' at you, Wells Fargo!

On the super negative side, I hate the universe. I also hate arrogant douchebags with self-instigated book and toy contracts, not that I'm being too specific or anything because I highly doubt that certain people actually read my blog, even though they don't know what they're missing because I'm sure others find me absolutely enlightening.

Times like this, I just want to punch a kitten.

Too bad they're all cute and stuff.

Dammit.

- Dr. Horrible

Middle of the night musings.

Seriously oh my God I'm never going to be able to sleep again.

I just thought of something that would be bad, so very, very bad, and I can't think of a way to delicately bring the subject up to the other party without incurring physical damage to my person.

Oh ... my God.

Another thing I thought about at approximately three in the morning: I know why Captain Hammer is immune to my ... thing that makes everyone do what I say. It has to do with the fact that he's a rich tool who imports everything, even the water he uses to bathe.

Don't ask me how I know that. It was a really, really unfortunate encounter.

Speaking of unfortunate encounters ...

Oh man.

Compiling done for the new code. 90 percent. I still have to figure out how to get back online. Looking forward to event double-oh-sabotage. Everything's all lined up. Not really happy about how they got there, but everything's lined up.

Whatever.

Kisses, but please brush your teeth first,
Dr. Horrible

Very funny.

I track IPs through all my e-mails using sophisticated software, Fake Thomas Jefferson (and yes, I said "fake," what're you gonna do about it?), and I don't care if you pretend not to know how to use a computer, or know what a computer is for that matter. But convincing Dead Bowie to send me an e-mail with the text "So, did you tap that?" is totally out of line and completely unprofessional.

My personal life is nobody's business but my own. That's why they call it personal.

- Dr. Horrible

P.S. I happen to know that my personal life is probably way more interesting than yours, so I can understand why you'd be concerned, but again. Personal.

P.P.S. Bite me.

What.

So, apparently, the GPS signal is offline. How can three satellites get thrown off course by space junk in one ... never mind. Forget it. The toys are on the shelf for an undetermined amount of time, so to speak, and Phase 3 is down to 85 percent. Which, naturally, pisses me off indescribably, but hey. These things take time, we hit snags, but it'll all be back up and running soon, so don't you fret your boggled little heads about it.

Rather, in the interim, go have fun with your friends and family. Consider this a gift from me to you: a small reprieve from the fear of being controlled by an evil genius. I know. Thoughtful, right?

While I work on reprogramming you, I've also been anticipating a lovely little expedition in espionage, the whereabouts and purpose of which I'm going to leave open for interpretation. After all, what kind of spy gives everything away? A bad one, that's what.

Catch you on the flipside (and no, I'm not telling you where that is, either),
Dr. Horrible

Fire and pitchforks and riots, oh my!

So you remember yesterday, right? (Okay, trick question. I'm sure some of you do and some of you don't. To those of you who do: wasn't it awesome? How that parade all of a sudden decided to stop being a parade and start being a rioting mass, completely without direction, only propelled by a sense of gratuitous anger and no self-control?

To those of you who don't: ^That's basically what happened. And it was totally you!)

A round of applause goes out to yesterday's participants. And even though only some of you technically helped me in that small victory, remember: We're all winners.

Isn't that ... something ... your hero says?

Are you starting to ask yourself: "Who is the real hero?"

Oh man, that reminds me of that one comedian that acted like he was high all the time. What was his name? Mitch something? There was a joke about a belt and pants, and the belt holding up the pants but the pants holding the belt, and he was like, "who is the real hero?" and it was great.

No questions yet?

Don't worry. They'll come.


Yours,
Dr. Horrible

Uhm.

Complete indifference. Cool apathy. Mmyep.

What in the hell am I doing?

Uhh, GPS is a little off for ... stuff, so ...

Oh man. I so can't blog right now. Later, sure. And don't worry, it'll be epic as per usual.

I just ...

I gotta get some sleep.

Goodnight, Los Angeles. Sorry about the Hollywood sign. I'm sure you'd understand.

I had to share this. I'm so proud!

An excerpt from the first page of the Los Angeles Times website (oh yeah, the Times). Spelling errors and grammatical mistakes corrected because I can't cope.

January 2, 2010
Associated Press

To people all across America, the New Year is a time for celebration; it's a time for us to start anew, to make resolutions, to better ourselves and our community.

For the residents of Southern California, the New Year has turned into a time of terror.

Villain Dr. Horrible, whose first reign of terror is still fresh in the minds of the Los Angeles community, has initiated yet another campaign to strike fear into the hearts of people all over the nation. With a scheme bordering on mind control [horrible edit 1: dude, not "bordering." it's totally mind control and you know it] the evil scientist has promised that "we won't know when we're compromised, but we'll know when it has happened."

Cryptic? Maybe. Horrible? Of course. Now, in these times of tragedy and fear, we must turn to each other, and naturally, to our hero. Please, save us.

Great, right? Isn't that a crock? "Oooh, our hero, save us, waaaah." Dude. There is nothing that Captain Hammer can do to help you. Brain has once more proven itself to be superior to brawn, and you guys are so screwed. You guys are more screwed than Lindsay Lohan on a three-day bender. You guys are like - if you were set beside an actual screw with a screwdriver jammed in its head, you would be so much more screwed than that.

Meanwhile, I've been enjoying something of a vacation. It's funny how I've just letting a bunch of nobody criminals pull off bank heists that I typically enjoy while I'm slummin' it. Don't you think it's funny? I think it's hilarious.

In other, less work-related news, except it's not really not work-related, but it's happened outside of work, except kind of inside work with someone I work with. Well, maybe not with - the first "with," not the second, because - eeh, wait, I guess that's kinda dubious too, considering the type of work.

Anyway, long story short: It was cool. Yeah. (Man, I miss vlogging. You totally missed my expression of knowing yet detached confidence.)

Knowing, yet detachedly confident,
Dr. Horrible