I could whittle my points until they were sharp as skewers and drive them into your eyes, and you still wouldn't see them. You watched the wishing fountain crumble and spray as if it were as simple as pretending to be horrified while you stirred sugar into your coffee.
Got a pretty big gash on my arm. I'm getting pretty good at making stitches. What kind of doctor am I again? Heh.
That was funny. That was a joke. You're supposed to laugh.
You know what else is funny? Imagining the death of Captain Hammer. If it's anything like I picture it, then it's guaranteed comedy gold when it happens.
Trust me. It'll happen.
And I'll never stop laughing.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
I have all the luck in the world.
Seriously. Professor Normal? So not invited to my villainous Christmas party. (This, as you can imagine, is considered a huge slap in the cyborg jaw among our circles. Parties are huge - a huge part of the evil subculture - so by not being permitted to partake in the festivities, I think Professor Normal should be hesitant to show his face at meetings. For, you know, a couple of days at least. Speaking of that face, I can't believe he hasn't finished his transformation. I mean, yeah, there was the addition of the bionic eyes, but it would have been a lot more impressive if one of them hadn't popped out and rolled across Bad Horse's dossier.)
Anyway, the reason I'm scorning him is because, as you can see, I'm not writing from my usual servers. Open source is cool and all; I can appreciate the sentiment behind it, but I'd much rather blog on my own turf. To have the advantage of the home ground. Not be at the mercy of some ... exceedingly fun yet frighteningly absorptive corporate machine.
THIS IS ALL NORMAL'S FAULT. I have like, at least a hundred safeguards and backups against server failure, but I guess there's really no safeguard against human ignorance.
"- yes, the power's all the way up. No, you don't need to hold it. I said you don't need to hold it. I SAID YOU DON'T NEED TO - AAAAGH, NOOOOO!"
Little did I know, his ears were a mechanical prototype.
I should have never agreed to host his Pampered Chef website. I mean, not only did I just set myself up for a critical server failure, but Pampered Chef? It just goes against everything I stand for. In a roundabout, metaphorical sort of way.
So, here I am, blogging on a pre-made template. Luckily I had all of my previous entries saved to an external hard disk that wasn't connected to the server chain - two, in fact, because you never know - and I'll probably be transferring the relevant ones over here as I see fit. The damage to the servers was pretty severe, and repairs have to be done by my hand due to the motherboard modifications I'd implemented in order to sync them up to various WMDs. I found an evil forum that lets you post the stats of your latest projects in weaponry. Granted, I think I'll always be a lurker just because of the questionable security of posting your junk's junk for the world to see and possibly defeat, but the idea of it is really neat. I've used a couple mods from the site myself. And no, don't even ask, I am not posting the URL. The last thing I need is to feel responsible for a n00b invasion to the darkest recesses of the internet. I don't want my research sites turning into, like, 4chan.
At any rate, I made a new friend yesterday. If by friend I mean horrifying, violent, fist-happy, constantly hormonal acquaintance, and you can guarantee that in this context, I do. Field trip to the courthouse, kind of random but all in all decently productive. Striking fear into the hearts of the masses is one of those treasured, incorruptible pastimes in which I can't indulge enough. Like hot apple cider on a cold winter's day.
We blew stuff up.
Snow showed up, too, though that's hardly worth mentioning. Except maybe for the part where I punched him out. I mean, it wasn't even intentional. It just happened that he ran into my fist. And almost broke it. It still aches, and there's a Johnny-jaw shaped bruise across my fingers. Whatever. "Inelegant, yet effective." I agree.
In retrospect, I would have liked to go in there with a plan, and maybe an exercise in subtlety, but I guess for what we were intending to accomplish, we made out pretty well. I still wish I would have grabbed the file cabinet while I had the chance. Cherry wood. It was cherry. Sophisticated, durable, and efficient. It would have been perfect for the office.
Well, there you have it. I don't know how long I'm going to be using this platform, but it'll probably be for a while. Speaking of, I should probably go and work on the servers. The first shipment in parts is scheduled to come in tomorrow morning, and I want to have everything ready for installation.
Always yours, always evil,
Dr. Horrible
ETA: BTW, new iPhone. It's still the same number. I don't know why I felt the need to mention it, unless someone in particular is among my readers, in which case I say HA. HA. Enterprising effort aside, I will never be defeated. Not even electronically.
Anyway, the reason I'm scorning him is because, as you can see, I'm not writing from my usual servers. Open source is cool and all; I can appreciate the sentiment behind it, but I'd much rather blog on my own turf. To have the advantage of the home ground. Not be at the mercy of some ... exceedingly fun yet frighteningly absorptive corporate machine.
THIS IS ALL NORMAL'S FAULT. I have like, at least a hundred safeguards and backups against server failure, but I guess there's really no safeguard against human ignorance.
"- yes, the power's all the way up. No, you don't need to hold it. I said you don't need to hold it. I SAID YOU DON'T NEED TO - AAAAGH, NOOOOO!"
Little did I know, his ears were a mechanical prototype.
I should have never agreed to host his Pampered Chef website. I mean, not only did I just set myself up for a critical server failure, but Pampered Chef? It just goes against everything I stand for. In a roundabout, metaphorical sort of way.
So, here I am, blogging on a pre-made template. Luckily I had all of my previous entries saved to an external hard disk that wasn't connected to the server chain - two, in fact, because you never know - and I'll probably be transferring the relevant ones over here as I see fit. The damage to the servers was pretty severe, and repairs have to be done by my hand due to the motherboard modifications I'd implemented in order to sync them up to various WMDs. I found an evil forum that lets you post the stats of your latest projects in weaponry. Granted, I think I'll always be a lurker just because of the questionable security of posting your junk's junk for the world to see and possibly defeat, but the idea of it is really neat. I've used a couple mods from the site myself. And no, don't even ask, I am not posting the URL. The last thing I need is to feel responsible for a n00b invasion to the darkest recesses of the internet. I don't want my research sites turning into, like, 4chan.
At any rate, I made a new friend yesterday. If by friend I mean horrifying, violent, fist-happy, constantly hormonal acquaintance, and you can guarantee that in this context, I do. Field trip to the courthouse, kind of random but all in all decently productive. Striking fear into the hearts of the masses is one of those treasured, incorruptible pastimes in which I can't indulge enough. Like hot apple cider on a cold winter's day.
We blew stuff up.
Snow showed up, too, though that's hardly worth mentioning. Except maybe for the part where I punched him out. I mean, it wasn't even intentional. It just happened that he ran into my fist. And almost broke it. It still aches, and there's a Johnny-jaw shaped bruise across my fingers. Whatever. "Inelegant, yet effective." I agree.
In retrospect, I would have liked to go in there with a plan, and maybe an exercise in subtlety, but I guess for what we were intending to accomplish, we made out pretty well. I still wish I would have grabbed the file cabinet while I had the chance. Cherry wood. It was cherry. Sophisticated, durable, and efficient. It would have been perfect for the office.
Well, there you have it. I don't know how long I'm going to be using this platform, but it'll probably be for a while. Speaking of, I should probably go and work on the servers. The first shipment in parts is scheduled to come in tomorrow morning, and I want to have everything ready for installation.
Always yours, always evil,
Dr. Horrible
ETA: BTW, new iPhone. It's still the same number. I don't know why I felt the need to mention it, unless someone in particular is among my readers, in which case I say HA. HA. Enterprising effort aside, I will never be defeated. Not even electronically.
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